No wonder my ESL kids hate English!

The Queen’s English (Pinched from the Simple Savings forum.)

You think English is easy?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.?

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

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8 Responses to No wonder my ESL kids hate English!

  1. monica says:

    oh Lord, my Italian brain wants to go back home now…

  2. trash says:

    Wouldn’t #9 be dived?

  3. Pixie says:

    ughhhhhhhhhhh its making my brain ache

  4. river says:

    6)-someone deserted their dessert? Hand it over, I’ll eat it…mmm, sweet.

    You’re right though, English is the oddest language.

    @trash; #9 is definitely dove.

  5. Ellen says:

    Very, very punny.

  6. persiflage says:

    As a student of two other languages, I think the grammar and the idioms are more difficult by far than the various other meanings of nouns and verbs. Where would we be without the gerund?

    I just discovered that in Spanish they use an indirect object pronoun instead of a direct object pronoun when talking about people rather than things!

  7. As I read each one I followed it and read it out in my mind, without any problems. Then I revisited and really wondered, then realised even more …….. it is a wonder that even those like me with only the English language can battle their way through this language and be understood!!!

    And this is before we get to dialects and accents ………. and ESOL

    Super Wow, Frogdancer for teaching this language, sending care and many huggles from me and purrrrrrumbles from Zebbycat,

    Michelle down in Wellington

  8. Urspo says:

    English is one of the most mixed up language, have incorporated French, Latin, Scandinavian languages, and Native American. So it has more exceptions than any language I know.
    It must be the devil to learn as a second language.

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