Well…. it’s not actually funny “ha ha”….
It’s something Tony said to Ryan3.
Remember how Tony and Viv said they’d pay 3K towards Ryan3 going to America next year for the school band tour, while I pay for David2? Remember how David2 no longer sees Tony? Wouldn’t you think that’d make Tony a little careful in what he says to the kids about potentially delicate things like money?
We were sitting in a restaurant on Sunday night. It was my mother’s 70th birthday celebration, so all of the family and a few of her ultra close friends were there. I was sitting near Ryan3 and the boys. They’d been at Tony and Viv’s place and had just got back in time for me to throw them all in the car and go to this birthday bash. Ryan3 leaned forward.
“Mum, I’ve got something to tell you,” he said. “Something Dad said. I don’t know that you’re going to like it.”
I nodded for him to go on.
“He said that he won’t be able to pay more than three thousand for me to go to America because he and Viv need to do some things and they’d have to put them off.”
(I made a non-commital noise, thinking, “Well yeah. Me too!” But anyway, considering his past history of child support payments, I’m happy that he agreed to put his hand in his pocket this time, so I wasn’t all that concerned.)
Ryan3 continued. “Then he said that they couldn’t pay any more because they had to save up to help pay for Evan4’s jaw surgery.”
Before I could stop myself I burst out laughing and said, “Oh yeah? SO DO I!!!” (And I’m on one wage supporting 4 adult-sized kids while he has his own business, a wife working part time and a toddler who eats as much as a sparrow would. I didn’t say this out loud.)
David2 rolled his eyes in disgust. Ryan2 said grimly, “I know.”
It’s incredible. Though I suppose he at least is starting to realise that the kids are growing up, so he’s taking the time to explain himself to them. Trouble is, the logic and fairness (or not) of the whole thing is also glaringly obvious to the kids as they grow older.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m very glad Tony and Viv have agreed to pay ANYTHING towards this trip. Three grand will pay for most of it, which I’m very thankful for. But it’s hard for the boys to hear the rationalisations that their father gives when he doesn’t want to go 50/50.
I’m also interested in how they rationalise it to themselves… am I, (a teacher), on a stupendous wage and can afford to pay a lot more than they can? Do they think that the boys cost very little to run? I do know that Viv and her family think that sending the boys on a trip like this is a colossal waste of money… she told the boys that a couple of weeks ago. When they told me I just smiled and we had a talk on how different people have different priorities on how they spend their money.
I don’t know…
Why couldn’t Tony just say to Ryan3 that they’ve done a budget and they simply can’t afford to contribute more, even though he’d dearly love to? That’d make more sense to him than anything else.