Stupid jokes. How I love them.

I saw these on the Simple Savings forum this morning and cracked up laughing. What a jolly way to start my work day!

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles ,U.C.L.A.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.

You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.  

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

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7 Responses to Stupid jokes. How I love them.

  1. trash says:

    Shall be sharing these with Princess C-W tomorrow, she will get a giggle. Tonight after school she said to me “If you plint trees you get ipples. Spike Milligan was ace, wasn’t he?”

    Of course we then had to do ALL the vowels and decided that in The Queen’s orchards she probably had them plant epples.

  2. Cathy says:

    I love them – short sharp and to the point. Just like those you find in Christmas crackers. Lots of groaning to accompany the laughter
    Cathy

  3. river says:

    These made me laugh so much, I’m definitely going to share them with my K.

  4. AnnaY says:

    bliss! more fabulous stupid jokes. my darling year 9s will be so impressed over the next week or so.

    you might want to add

    what do you call 2 robbers? a pair of knickers
    why did the biscuit go to the doctor? because he was feeling crummy
    what goes oh oh oh? santa walking backwards

    what is a witch’s best subject? spelling

    to mention a few that have had the poor darlings have endured to date.

  5. Urspo says:

    those are so bad they are good.

  6. river says:

    I just have to share this one.
    How do monsters like their eggs?
    Terrifried.

  7. Anna of Helylle says:

    Ha ha ha, I love this! I shall memorize them and impress and entertain everyone I know!

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