Loved these insults.

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..” – Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second …. if there is one.” – Winston Churchill, in response.

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” – Charles, Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx

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12 Responses to Loved these insults.

  1. trash says:

    Winston was always good for a comeback. And for sheer elegance of a stiletto-like turn of phrase one cannot go past Dorothy Parker.

  2. dixiebelle says:

    Oh thank you for the laughs, too funny!

  3. river says:

    I love these! I may use a few of them.

  4. Bev says:

    They are just priceless!

    Most people today don’t have the intelligence to come up with brilliant quips, just brainless one-word insults.

  5. Meeka says:

    Might try these out next time the four year old kicks my leg in the supermarket.

  6. Laura says:

    oooooooooh, Cutting!!!

    People weren’t afraid to offend, were they?

  7. Liz says:

    Fabulous – and it makes me miss Paul Keating – thinking about our current Pollies, I think the first quote applies.

  8. So brilliant – back when folks had a decent command of English!

  9. Ellen says:

    The pen really can be mightier than the sword.

  10. Lilian says:

    Ouch… so refined… to the point… witty, imaginative… so much better than the uncouth metaphors that emerge from the young nowadays… which really require little thought at all…

  11. Em says:

    Thanks for the laugh Frogdancer, just what I needed! Well done on the thermomix business, who knew it could bring such moments to treasure? 🙂

  12. Em says:

    Not that the thermomix business is directly related to this post, but I’m being lazy and commenting on 3 posts in one.

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